Redirect!

Hayun! Hindi ko natupad ang pangarap ko for this year na maging huling blog ko na itong The Coffeeholic. Dahil diyan, gusto ko kayong anyayahan na magbasa ng mga horror stories ko dito sa pinakabago (at sana, pinakahuling)blog ko:

IMAGINAGERIE

Salamat sa pag-tangkilik!

Jeepney Kids

While on a jeepney ride going home, I sat beside two families. The family farthest from me had a little girl who was out of control. She would switch from one side of the vehicle to the other, deaf to the scolding of her mother and father. On the other hand, the family sitting just next to me had a behaved little boy. He was just curiously looking at the little girl who was already throwing a tantrum.

With an exasperated voice, the mother of the little girl said, “Look at the baby boy. He’s so behaved.”

Just then, a smile spread through the faces of the little boy’s parents, clearly, because of pride.

I didn’t know what to think. It was one of two things: feel happy for the parents who had the behaved little boy or feel sorry for the parents who had a gremlin for a baby girl.

I can’t wait to have kids.

Maling Akala

Natatandaan ko pa na nag-post ako ng mga "coming soon" dito sa blog ko. Sabi ko, makakapag-post na ako ng marami pag-dating ng summer term ng mga American students ko pero hindi pala. Since na-promote ako, marami pang ibang nangyari sa pag-unlad ng career ko.

Una, nag-rerecruit na rin ako for the writing consultant post. Dahil 50 ang kailangan kong makuha, araw-araw, busy ako sa pagtetest, pag-iinterview, at pag-papasa ng mga applicant.

Pangalawa, malapit na akong mag-birthday kaya ayan, medyo depressed mode na naman ako. Lagi naman eh. Just before I have my birthday, I feel depressed.

Pangatlo, nagamot ata ng pagiging workaholic ko ang pagiging insomniac ko. Ayan, wala tuloy akong time para mag-blog. Kahit nga Sunday, hindi ako nakapag-online -- ngayon lang.

I hope to make it up to myself and my readers in the coming days. Ewan ko lang kung kailan yon.

Jeepney Fare Blooper

After watching numerous films, I’ve always associated bloopers to the ending credits. While the ending credits roll, there are short snippets of film where the actor would forget a line or the actress would suddenly laugh out loud without any warning. I’ve always thought that these bloopers wouldn’t happen to me. However, much to my terror and surprise, I had a blooper while going home earlier.

Like the past few weeks, I hitch a ride with my friend, Philip. Usually, he would drop me off along the Alabang-Zapote Road, but tonight, he had to go to Manila, so he dropped me off at the parking lot of the Festival Mall where vans stay in makeshift terminals, ready to ferry passangers from Alabang to Cavite.

I boarded one van, and I immediately prepared my fare for the van. I got my wallet out, and I took P40 out of my wallet. I figured that with the P5 change that I was supposed to receive back from the dispatcher, I would have P7 left, just enough for a jeepney ride to my house. However, much to my terror, surprise, and dread, I sat in the van, wide-eyed and horrified, shaking my head in disbelief — I only had P1 left in wallet!

That will make a measly P6, P1 short of the minimum fare to get to my house!!!

I tried to curb the rising panic in my head, thinking fast and furiuosly for solutions, and I came up with two:

a. text my sister, ask anybody from the house to fetch me at the van terminal in Cavite
b. text Donna, who lived near the terminal, and ask for P1
c. beg for P1 from a random stranger
d. walk home

Since the last option was not an option becuase I felt too tired to walk, I opted to do both a and b. I texted my sister and Donna. Donna didn’t reply soon enough, and my sister told me that my mom and dad said to just take a tricycle and they’d pay for it when I got home. Good thing that I took their suggestion becuase after a few minutes, Donna replied that she wasn’t home yet.

While I was in the van, I felt really downtrodden because I felt so poor. I was desperate to get home, enough to have considered option d, but I stuck with my pride, and just got the tricycle. When I got home, my mom was sitting in front of the house, ready with the fare, laughing at what happened to me. My uncle told me to always bring spare change in my bag and let them just jingle in it for crises like this while laughing mockingly. Then, I posted this experience in my Facebook page, and my sister mocked me too, saying “Bwahahaha!”

Gosh! I really didn’t think that a blooper like this would happen to me, but nevertheless, this experience made me realize that I need to really prepare for events like this.

Isang Kwentong Bayan ng Alabang

Nung Biyernes, habang nag-lulunch kami sa opisina, gumawa ako ng kwento tungkol kay Jennie (na ipapublish ko din dito, malapit na). Dahil sa kwento ko, naalala daw niya ang isang kwentong narinig niya nung siya ay bata pa tungkol sa isang mayor sa Alabang.

Heto ang kwento:

Noong unang panahon, may isang mayor sa Alabang na kilalang masama ang ugali. Dahil siya ay mayaman at makapangyarihan, palagi siyang pumupunta sa pampang ng Laguna de Bay para mangolekta ng tong. Wala namang pera ang mga mangingisda kaya ang huli na lang nila ang kanilang ipinambabayad sa sakim na alkalde. Ganito ang kalakaran ng buhay ng masamang mayor.

Isang araw, nang ang mayor ay nasa kanyang ruta ng pangongolekta ng tong, may lumapit sa kanyang batang babae.

"Mama, mama, pwede po ba akong manghingi ng isda?" ang tanong ng batang gusgusin.

Tiningnan ng mayor ang bata at sinabing, "Ah isda ba kamo? O heto!"

Imbis na ibigay ng maayos, isinaksak ng mayor ang isang bangus sa bibig ng bata at lumakad na papalayo. Subalit nang siya'y lumingon para tingnan kung sinusundan pa siya ng bata, wala na ang bata sa pampang.

Makalipas ang isang linggo, nagka-cancer ang mayor - cancer sa lalamunan. Gamit ang kanyang yaman at impluwensiya, nagpagamot ang mayor sa mga ispesyalista. Nang hindi kinaya ng mga doktor dito sa Pilipinas, nangibang-bansa ang mayor para magpagamot. Pumunta siya sa America pero hindi na rin nila magamot ang kanyang cancer dahil malubha na ito. Di nagtagal, namatay ang mayor.

Marami sa mga sumubaybay sa mayor ang nakaisip na maaaring may kinalaman ang batang babaeng sinaksak niya ng bangus sa bibig. Ipinagtanong nila kung sino ang bata sa lahat ng tao ngunit walang nakakakilala sa batang ito. Ang lumabas pa nga sa mga imbestigasyon ay wala talagang batang katulad ng kanilang nilalarawan.

Pagkatapos ko marinig ang kwento, kinilabutan ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero siguro nga, mahiwaga ang bata. In fact, ito ang theory ko:

Mula sa pagkaluklok ni Maria Makiling sa tuktok ng kanyang bundok, natanaw niya ang alkalde. Gusto siguro niyang parusahan ang mayor pero, siguro, binigyan pa niya ng pagkakataon. Siya ay bumaba ng bundok para bigyan ng pagkakataong magbago ang mayor gamit ang pagsubok sa kabaitan ng mayor. Kaya lang, hindi naging mabait ang mayor kaya ayun ang inabot niya.

Ang Credit Card Joke (featuring Bianca)

Kanina, sa office, natawa ako sa sinabi sa akin ng isa kong kaibigan, si Bianca. Natawa ako dahil sobrang ironic ng sinabi niya sa akin.

Nitong nakalipas na linggo, hindi nga lang ako sigurado kung anong araw, nag-break sila ng 3-year long boyfriend niya. Dahil depressed ang bata, naisipan niyang mag-mope around at mag-internet ng sagot sa kanyang problema. Sa di inaasahang pagkakataon, napadpad siya sa isang forum tungkol sa mga rules pagkatapos ng break-up. Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, tungkol iyon sa "no contact rule" pagkatapos ng break up. May isang nagpost at nabanggit doon ang isang title ng libro, "It's Called a Break-up Because It's Broken."

Dahil sa daming nag-react na maganda tungkol sa book, ginusto ni Bianca na bumili rin non. Kanina, habang nag-fifill up siya ng online order form para sa book, sinabi niya:

"Gamitin ko kaya ang credit card ni ____ para bilhin tong book?"

Aba! Pagkatapos kong marinig yung sinabi ng loka, natawa na lang ako. Ironic, ika nga. Paano kung itinuloy niya nga ang pagbili dun sa book gamit ang credit card ng ex niya? Naiimagine ko na ang mangyayari. Lalabas sa credit card bill yung title ng book at mapapakamot na lang si ____ dahil nagawa pa ni Bianca na gamitin credit card niya sa pag-bili ng librong tutulong sa kanya mag-move on.

Pakiramdam ko lang, baka ito na ang pinakamalaking joke na maaalala ko tungkol kay Bianca. Baka nga hanggang uugud-ugod na kami, ito pa rin ang joke na pagtatawanan namin ng malupit. Sana lang, makapag-move on na ang Biankikay namin para hindi na siya sad. Higit sa lahat, sana hindi rin niya gawin yun kasi baka hulihin siya ng pulis sa paggamit ng credit card ng iba.

Ngayon ko lang din na-realize: mahirap palang makipag-break. Nakaka-depress. Nakaka-sira ng ulo. Higit sa lahat at kung may credit card ka, mahirap pala na alam ng girlfriend ang credit card number mo. Ikaw na ang nawalan ng girlfriend, ikaw pa ang magbabayad para mag-move on siya. Hehehe!

A Question On Break Ups

It takes a terrible amount of mighty bond to fix a broken vase, but isn't it much simpler to buy a new one?

The Process of Grieving

Wallowing is part of grief. Eventually, the puddle of tears will dry up to reveal crystals that are worth smiling about.

Mga Mangyayari sa Hinaharap

Una sa lahat, salamat, Ate Ayie dahil kinukulit mo kong mag-post. Kung hindi dahil sa iyo, hindi ko na sana maaalala. Hehehe!

Dahil sumusunod ang trabaho ko sa academic school year ng America, magiging mas maluwag na ang schedule ko. Magkakaroon na ako ng time mag-post ng mga bagong kuwento, at eto ang mga nakabinbing mga kwentong dapat kong isulat:

1. Ang Tagak
2. Ang Maalamat na Lighter
3. Bakit May Sungay ang Narwhal?

Kelan nga ba ako mag-kakatime? Sa tingin ko, hindi na ako busy pag-dating ng June. Ilang linggo na lang ba yon? Less than two weeks na lang, so hang in there, fans. Malapit na malapit na!

Chad cannot sleep because he is thinking about _______.

I am an insomniac. That explains why I can't sleep.

I am infatuated, but I cannot publish the name of the person on my Facebook profile.

Damn if you do, damn if you don't. This is how I see my situation. If I post a name on my status message, I will stir up controversy. If I don't put a name and leave it blank, I will still reap the same results. However, keeping the name to myself will save me from ruining the friendship that I have with her, so I will keep it at that.

Chad thought about living up to the meaning of the word "smoulder," but realized that it is such a wasteful concept, and thus, changed his mind, deciding on living like a "laser beam" instead.

I am passionate like fire. That's why I was thinking of the word "smoulder."

I chose "smoulder" instead of "smolder" because I like the emphasis brought about by the letter u.

I told my program manager that I try to live by the meaning of words that I can relate to. Then, I realized that I need to also direct my passion into something creative. That's when I decided to change it to "laser beam." It seems that "laser" carries the same kind of heat, but it is focused, making it more appealing to me.

I easily get distracted, so I have to live by that phrase until I can confidently say that I am a living, breathing laser beam.

Si Korina Sanchez at ang Aking High School Classmates

Grabe! Napaka-weird ng panaginip ko kahapon.

Sa panaginip ko, nasa classroom ko daw ako noong high school ako. Galing ako sa all boys school kaya medyo weird na may kaclassmate akong babae, at ang teacher daw namin ay si Korina Sanchez. Eto pa ang mas weird -- ang exam daw namin ay ang pagkanta ng Telephone ni Lady Gaga. Sa sobrang disoriented ko sa panaginip, natakot ako na baka ako na ang tawagin ni Korina, kaya nagtanong ako sa classmate ko.

Ang sabi ko, "Mich, anong nangyayari? Kelan inannounce na may test?"

"Ewan ko. Hindi ko nga rin alam kung bakit ako nandito," ang sabi ni Mich na hindi naman si Mich. Yung mukha ng tinawag kong "Mich," mukha ng isa ko pang kaibigan, si Marge.

Patapos na yung isa pa naming classmate sa pag-kanta kaya naghanda-handa na ako. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, "Hello, hello, baby..." nang biglang may biglang may lumapit kay Korina at binulungan siya.

Lumapit din ang babae sa akin na may dalang headset. Ang sabi niya, "May nag-hihintay sa iyo sa labas."

"Sino daw? Mga applicant?" ang tanong ko. Busy kasi ako ngayon sa pag-rerecruit ng mga bagong writing consultant kaya siguro naitanongko yon. Pagkatapos, ibinigay niya sa akin yung headset na may tao pala sa kabilang linya. Parang wireless na headset yon, at ako ang gusto kausapin.

"Hello. Thanks for patiently waiting. This is Chad. How may I help you?" ang tanong ko. Static lang naman yung narinig ko kaya lumabas ako ng classroom papunta sa lobby. Parang hotel naman bigla yung lobby. Paglabas ko dun, nakita ko ang isang pulutong ng mga classmates ko sa high school at iba pang mga lower batch sa akin. Nakita ko dun si Ericson Nantin at kung sinu-sino pa.

Napakaweird talaga.

Isang Birthday Wish

Simula pa noong bata ako, mahilig na akong mag-drawing. Kung anu-ano lang naman ang dinodrowing ko. Minsan, tao. Minsan, hayop. Minsan, kabayo na para bang hindi ito hayop. Ewan ko nga ba kung bakit ko pa hiniwalay yun. Siguro, dahil sa picture na nakita ko sa hard drive ko.

Ayun, kabayo nga siya. Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, gel pen ang gamit ko niyan at sa isang pirasong papel lang na medyo scratch ko pa nga ata yan dinrowing. Tapos, ini-scan ko siya para i-post sa blog kong luma.

Ano naman ang kinalaman nito sa title? Nasira ang scanner ko. Gusto ko ng scanner na stand-alone lang for my birthday. Ayun. *hint* *hint*

Job Opening

Naghahanap ang company namin ng mga bagong empleyado. Dahil TL na ako, naatasan na akong mag-recruit ng mga bagong Writing Consultant. Heto ang mga details:

Position: Writing Consultant

Requirements:

• We are looking for college graduates
• We are looking for people with good English writing skills.
• We are looking for people with the ability to teach English writing and grammar.
• We are looking for people who are proficient in Microsoft Word.
• We are looking for people who are able to work in Alabang, Muntinlupa.

Job Description:

• The position entails the writing consultant to be able to read and provide constructive comments to essays, research papers, and on occasion, resumes and formal letters.

Ayokong mag-commit ng salary expectations pero I can say that I earn a lot from this job. Sabihin na lang natin na nagagamit ko ang sweldo ko to pay for my expenses:

• Meralco bills
• Internet bills
• Grocery
• Housing Loans
• Credit card bills
• Cell phone bills
• Gimik
• Allowance

Lahat yun, bayad ko kasi ako ang may pinakamalaking sweldo dito sa bahay. Hehehe! Serious tong job posting na to. Kung serious din kayong nag-hahanap ng trabaho, email niyo na lang ako: chadthecoffeeholic@gmail.com.

Waiting

Matagal ko nang naisulat ang kwentong ito. Base sa research ko, noong December 30, 2009 ko pa ito ipinost sa luma kong blog at sa Facebook. May nagpasulat sa akin ng kwento tungkol sa commitment at eto ang kinalabasan:

Waiting

Yesterday, it was all about the aphids. Kristoff saw them sucking the life out of a rosebush near the train station. There were clumps of them – white, fluffy clumps of sap-sucking aphids preying on the life juices of the rose bush. Then, Kristoff saw that here were also ladybugs on the rose bush. The red and black beetles were feasting on the sorry, little botanical vampires. It made him smile; somehow, he knew that the rosebush will be right as rain, and he got off the bench that he was sitting on to head back home.

Last Friday, Kristoff thought that the bench near the train station was rather uncomfortable, and he thought that he couldn’t bear sitting on it anymore. Every time he sat on it, the hole where a nail should have been seemed to suck in his skin and make the bottom of his pelvic bone chafe onto the wood. It felt abrasive and raw. He would not have continued sitting there if not for the doves that flocked in front of the train station, swarming at bread crumbs and the French toast that he has thrown on the black and gray pavement to keep most of the birds cooing near where he waited. The cooing made him feel impervious to the irritation that waiting caused him, bringing him back to a time where all he needed to hear was the sound of Taylor’s giggles.

“Ummm, that’s so sweet of you, Kristoff,” he recalled what Taylor had said as he was handing her a bouquet of roses – a going-away present to wish her luck in her studies in Milan.

“Well, what can I say? I want you to remember what you’ll be missing for four years. Are you sure that you can’t just study here? We have good universities here, too, you know?”

“Oh come on, Kristoff. It’s only four years,” the memory of Taylor in Kristoff’s head went on. “I thought that we are through this? I promise that I’ll come back to you as soon as possible. I’ll come back to you even if I were already in a coffin lined with satin and gilded with roses.”

He thought that she was always morbid.

“Don’t say things like that. It’s creeping me out.”

“What!?! If I die, I want to be buried in a coffin with silver roses as decoration. That’s why you love me. You love my attention for detail! Hahaha!” she joked. “But promise me that you’ll wait for me, ok?”

“Do I even have to? You know that I will. I will wait for you here every day if I have to.”

With mischief in her eyes, she said, “I’ll hold you to it.”

Then, instead of the deep, rumbling of iron train wheels, the sound of flapping wings shook him back to reality. Kristoff let out a deep sigh as the memory faded away. He got up, and headed for home when the last of the sunshine followed the lead of the evanescing thought.

Last month, Kristoff noticed that the street lamps went on at exactly 5:57 PM. He wouldn’t have noticed if not for his cellular phone sounding an alarm. He had set an alarm for that exact time because he had an appointment to keep with Mr. Lathenbaum, the store keeper of the bookstore right beside the station. He had a book from Africa for Kristoff.

“What a chilly evening to you, young fella,” Mr. Lathenbaum said as he was hauling some boxes full of books inside his store when they first spoke to each other back in November.

“Good evening to you, too, sir,” answered Kristoff. “That’s a mighty big box of books you’re hauling there. Do you need any help?” offered Kristoff in all earnest.

Hesitating but feeling his aching back due to arthritis, the old man answered, “I don’t want to bother you. It seems that you’re waiting for someone, but these books are really doing a good job of following the law of gravity.”

“No, I insist, sir.”

“All right. If you insist. The name’s Lathenbaum, Lysander Lathenbaum, bibliophile extraordinaire!”

Without any second thoughts, Kristoff took the box from the old bibliophile and asked, “It’s nice meeting you, Mr. Lathenbaum. Kristoff Jones at your service. Where do you want these to go?”

“Would you kindly put that on the counter? And for your trouble, we’ll guzzle down some vodka.”

Bashfully, Kristoff obliged. Mr. Lathenbaum realized that he always saw Kristoff on the same crummy bench, which he also absolutely disdained for those nails that stuck out.

As he was pouring the vodka, he asked, “What are you doing there in the cold, young man? Oh, youth! Good thing you can still enjoy a crisp evening, so savor it while you can. You see, when you get as old as I am, your bones will not be comfortable with each other. It seems that in my case, my backbones have argued, and now, they’re fighting each other. Oh, flabberfruits! I’m prattling. Where was I? Ah, yes, what are you doing there, sitting in the cold?”

“I’m waiting for a special friend.”

“A lady friend?”

“You’re still sharp. You’re not as old as you think,” Kristoff chided.

That evening, Mr. Lathenbaum learnt of Kristoff, Taylor, and the tryst that should have happened a year ago. Since they weren’t strangers anymore, Kristoff always made it a point to say good afternoon to his elderly acquaintance before he sat patiently on his waiting bench. And as such, the two acquaintances became friends. Just like that, Mr. Lathenbaum came to know that Kristoff was looking for a book about Anansi and other African legends.

That month, Kristoff was accompanied by the tales of Anansi, the wise, mischievous spider from Africa. He was so amused of Anansi and the adventures that he totally forgot the alarm that he set. On the next day, it sounded again, and magically, the street lamps went aglow.

“Coincidence?” Kristoff wondered, so he didn’t put out the alarm on his cellular; for a week, he monitored, and for a week, the street lamps never failed him. They all went on at exactly 5:57 in the afternoon with or without darkness.

A few months back, maybe four or five, Kristoff noticed that the bench paint was wearing out. It was wearing out on the left side, the side where Kristoff took out a nasty nail with its exposed head irritating Kristoff’s behind. With pliers that he took out of his tool shed because of sheer irritation, he awkwardly tried to pry out that dastardly nail out of the wood, trying his best not to attract the crowds that poured in and out of the train station. With all his effort, he was able to succeed in taking out the nail, but to his surprise, the hole left by the nail on the wood didn’t make it comfortable in any way.

After pulling the nail out, Kristoff’s waiting bench offered him a dilemma – to sit on the right side where there was another nail sticking its head out to irritate those who unwittingly sit on it or to sit on the left side where there’s a vindictive hole on the wood that is Kristoff’s punishment for tampering with the bench. In the end, Kristoff decided to own up to his actions, be a man, and accept his punishment. He always sat on the left side of that bench ever since. With the help of the doves, he was able to tune out the irritation and wait patiently. He just noticed the fading paint because he had to avoid some bird droppings that landed on his usual seat.
However, today, Kristoff didn’t leave the bench anymore. He didn’t say hello to Mr. Lathenbaum. He didn’t feed the doves that kept him company. He didn’t draw close enough to notice if the ladybugs have eaten all of the aphids off of the rose bush. He wasn’t even able to stand up from the train station bench that was especially painful on his buttocks.

He just sat there staring with the help of the flickering 5:57 street lights, staring at a telegram he was holding. It read:

Dear Kristoff,

Guess who’s finally coming home at 5:30 PM, March 18? Train station. Don’t be late.

All my love,
Taylor

“I am not late, but where are you?” he asked as though Taylor was standing right in front of him.
Earlier this morning, this telegram made him run to his kitchen and cook an especially hearty breakfast. He cooked a cheese omelet, toasted some bread, and indulged on cottage cheese. Then, he prepared for work, and he took some changing clothes excitedly out from his closet. He folded them nicely to avoid roughing them up for this much-awaited reunion. When he was ready, he dashed down the staircase, side-tripped to the kitchen, and snatched the two telegrams that he fished out of the mailbox.

With giant but gleeful strides, he sped out the door. He made quick work of his lawn, reaching the sidewalk in only three seconds when it usually took him a minute to get there. With briefcase in hand, heavy with paperwork and clothes, he fumbled for his keys to lock his gridiron gate.

The day went so fast that he forgot to read the other telegram until he got to the bench. He got there at 5:28 PM. He sat patiently until 5:30, but when 5:31 came, he was fidgeting. He took out Taylor’s telegram to pass away the time. He looked at it until he couldn’t see the letters anymore. He was thankful when 5:57 came; with the aid of the street lights, he’ll be able to read the telegram again.

As he was holding the piece of paper, he realized that he hasn’t read the other telegram, so he took it out. After reading, the street lamp beside him seemed to have read the telegram, and its light flickered. He couldn’t tell if the lights dimmed, or if he blacked out. He wasn’t able to read the entirety of the message, but he got the message clear. He should be at the train station at 6:00 PM to meet a white mahogany box lined with satin and gilded with silver roses.

Dahil Bored Ako

Dahil bored ako, sinamahan ako ng mga friends ko gumawa ng mga kalokohan.

Nung Saturday, sa office, sinamahan ako ng frilled lizard ko magyosi.

Nung  Monday naman, habang walang magawa sa office, nagpunta kami sa gubat. Kasama ko naman ang snake ko at ang wallaby ko.

At higit sa lahat,  nagkape kami ng snake ko sa office habang nagtatanggal ng stress.

Ayan, cute diba? Super busy ako ngayon, so eto muna. Til next time. 

Isang Malaking Kabalintunaan

Noong Lunes, pumunta ako sa Festival Mall sa Alabang para kunin ang results ng annual physical exam ko. Kasama ko ang kaibigan kong si Donna nung kinuha ko yung mga results. Maayos naman ang lahat puwera sa katotohanang overweight na ako at kailangan ko nang magpapayat. Masaya kaming naglakad sa mall nang may natanaw akong kakaiba at napakalaking kabalintunaan.

Nang makuha ko na ang aking results ng medical ko, naihi si Donna kaya hinintay ko siya sa labas ng CR. Nakatayo ako sa tapat ng Clipper, isang magandang gift shop, habang naghihintay nang masagi ako ng isang mama. Nung lumingon ako, bulag pala ang mama at patungo siya sa CR. Sinundan ko ng tingin ang mama nang mangyari ang isang aksidente!

Papasok ng maliit na hallway ang mama at palabas naman ang isang tibo mula sa CR. (Sa CR kaya siya ng girls galing?) Mabilis ang lakad ng tibo, at biglang, BLAGSNGKST!!! Nabangga ng tibo ang walking stick ng mamang bulag. Hindi naman natumba o nasaktan ng mamang bulag. Nagsori din ang tibo. Kaya lang, napaka-ironic ng nangyari. 

Para sa akin, malaking kalokohan ang nangyari -- dramatic irony, kung baga.Kung sino pa ang nakakakita, siya pa ang nakabangga ng bulag. Hindi ko makalimutan ang nakita ko. Sa kakaisip, na-realize ko na may moral lesson sa pangyayaring iyon. Siguro nga, dapat lang nating i-appreciate kung ano ang meron tayo. Kaya ako, ang gagawin ko, gagamitin ko ang natitira ko pang paningin (na unti-unti na ring lumalabo) para maiwasan ko ang ganong pangyayari. Nakakahiya. Nakakapraning. Higit sa lahat, napakalaking kalokohan.

The Solution, the Wall, and the Collapse of the Circular City

From the Ivory Tower, a crow named Gurulturu headed back to the Round City of Yuvarlak. The crow, the catastrophic beauty, and the circular city would have a solution that will make everybody happy. On the other hand, the Little Boy would have an emissary to the World to spread his knowledge and wisdom once again.
Like the Little Boy suggested, the crow flew to the richest suitor of Afet, the catastrophic beauty. Gurulturu picked Devrim, the richest suitor of Afet. In actuality, he is also the pick of Afet to marry since he gives the most expensive gifts of all her suitors. He also was true to his name, which meant “revolutionary.” Every three days, he comes by Afet’s house because he devised an ingenious plan of meeting his servants halfway across the city walls. Instead of taking 6 days to get back to Afet, he managed to cut the travelling time in half. More than that though, the Little Boy suggested him because he lived just on the other side of the wall, right across the house of Afet.
Gurulturu found Devrim on his horse. He was on his way to meet his servants, who were bringing a golden elephant to their meeting point. As crows can move faster than a galloping horse, he managed to land on Devrim’s shoulder.
“Good morning, Devrim!” bellowed the crow. With fright and surprise, Devrim stopped the horse and tried to shoo the crow away. “Wait! Pardon me! I didn’t mean any harm,” said Gurulturu. “I have come to greet and meet the chosen one to be the husband of Afet.”
“What devilry is this? How can you speak?” asked Devrim. As the crow was a gabber, he wasn’t able to stop himself from telling his life’s story. He also went on with the ingenious plan on how to convince Afet’s mother that he was rich enough to bring gifts and crafty enough to do it everyday of the week. Luckily, Devrim believed him and agreed with the plan.
The plan was quite simple, really. With the knowledge of the Little Boy of geometry, he told Gurulturu that the shortest path between two points is a straight line. Instead of going around the city, a suitor living on the West Crescent can just climb over the wall and visit the East Crescent everyday. Since Devrim lived on the other side of the wall, he does not need to travel far; he does not need to also reveal the simplest solution.  
With this knowledge dispensed by the Little Boy, preparations went underway. Devrim had his builders craft a very long ladder that reached up the wall and another one to help him down on the other end. As the plan was simple and effective, he managed to visit Afet 6 consecutive days in a row, bringing the most lavish gifts that he can carry over the wall. Afet was happy; finally, she her mother conceded let her marry. Devrim was also happy; at last, his efforts would bear fruit. Most of all, Gurulturu was happy since he’ll have Afet to gossip with, Devrim to discuss manly matters with, and the Ivory Tower’s friendship and advice.
With so much joy, Devrim and Gurulturu decided to celebrate. In his gold leafed mansion, Devrim ordered his servants to prepare food and wine. Because he was rich, the food flowed ever so freely from the kitchen to the table. Devrim and Gurulturu wallowed in wine, words, and loud laughter. “What happiness can cause such a commotion,” thought the other suitors, so they all sneaked up to the windows of the happiest house in Yuvarlak. From their perch, they saw Devrim talking to a crow. They heard Gurulturu speak, which amazed them so much. More than that, they heard through drunk lips and beaks how they can laugh heartily, too!
As the secret spread like sand blown by a storm, the wealthy suitors began to also device ladders and contraptions that allowed them to visit daily. With this new trend in the suitors, Afet’s mother took back her word and made a new rule. Whoever can bring the most abundant amount of gifts would have Afet’s hand in marriage. Now, it was a question of quantity, not frequency, so she made it  known to all the suitors that the judging day was to be on Afet’s birthday.
As Afet’s birthday was a week away, everybody, including Devrim, stopped visiting Afet to muster all their wealth.Others had engineers and designers build contraptions that would allow them to bring the most wealth all in one go. They built stronger, heavier ladders to support the weight of gold, diamonds, and other precious stones. Everyone was desperate to win. Finally, Afet’s birthday came. Everybody on the Western Crescent woke up for each suitor employed each man, woman, and child that can carry something and climb a ladder to maximize the amount of wealth that they can transport to the other side. With big bags, mechanical carts, pulleys, scaffoldings, and carrying cases, they all climbed the dividing wall simultaneously.
With all the excitement, Gurulturu wanted to gossip with Afet because he knew that when all these people reached the other side, she won’t have time for him until after the wedding. He flew over the way and reported in detail how the spectacle looked like. Afet and Gurulturu were so engrossed with their conversation. Devrim and the rest of the suitors were also busy in transporting their wealth. The citizens reflected the same enthusiasm that their master had. Nobody paid attention to anything, not even the wall that complained and grumbled because of the weight it bore. With a loud crack, a whooshing sound, and a fell downward stroke, the city of Yuvarlak met its destruction. Everybody on the Eastern Crescent was crushed by the wall. Everybody climbing the wall from the Western Crescent fell, broke their necks, and died.
The Little Boy, the Master of the Ivory Tower, didn’t miss this spectacle. On one hand, he was sad for his emissary, Gurulturu, was crushed by the wall. He lost his only way to make his knowledge  known to the world again. On the other hand, the naughtier hand, he was quite amused. “Who would’ve guessed that the wall would collapse? Good thing I didn’t build that wall. Ahahahahahaha!” With that final remark, the Little Boy started laughing uncontrollably. Even if he was on the top of the Ivory Tower on the tallest mountain on the top of the World, his laughter managed to ride the Winds and made all the people in the World to hear the sound of a little boy laughing.

The Crow, the Catastrophic Beauty, and the Circular City

In the faint breeze, people all over the world heard the sound of a little boy laughing. From the top of the Ivory Tower, standing tall on the highest mountain on the top of the World, the Winds carried the laughter of the Little Boy, the tower’s master, because of a hilarious tragedy that occurred in a round city, much like the Round City of al-Mansur. As revealed in the Foreshadowing of the Ivory Shards, the Little Boy sent a piece of the Ivory Tower flying towards Heaven in anger. Since this was an act of anger, desecration, and hostility, the Sun protected Heaven by attempting to obliterate the ivory missile. This is the story of how a little piece of ivory brought a rather large and formidable city down into a rumbling, roaring heap of rubble that caused the Little Boy to laugh. 
It all began when a piece of the ivory missile fell on a crow living near the city of Yuvarlak. As the ivory shard had mystical properties, it enlightened the crow’s little brain and gave it the gift of human speech. Instead of its usual “caw, caw” call, it started to say “Good morning,” “good evening,” and learned to gossip. Since the other crows were just normal and were only equipped with a one-word dictionary that contained “caw,” the crow got bored with his friends so he flew all around the city to look for a person that he can gossip with.
After circling the city nine times, the crow saw a girl sitting by herself on a bench in one house on the East Crescent side of the story. Her name was Afet. The name was strikingly apt for this story because it meant “catastrophically beautiful.” She was the most beautiful daughter of a popular merchant in the Round City of Yuvarlak. She had the most peaceful looking eyes -- big, round, and as brilliant as the clear desert sky. Her hair flowed like black water as she sat  fanning herself. With famed beauty, she had to keep herself from perspiring since she expected a long line of suitors to come in the afternoon.
“Good morning!” the crow greeted her.
Startled and amazed, Afet looked for the voice and found the crow perched on the other side of her bench. “Good morning to you, too, little crow,” she replied with amusement. “How can you talk, little crow? This is the first time that I’ve heard a crow talk!” she exclaimed.
“Well, I don’t know really. One day, I was flying in the sky and I felt dizzy. I went home to sleep, and when I woke up, I can talk like you. It’s handy really. Now, I know why that fat lady living at the outskirts of town calls me ‘gurultulu.’ All the while, I thought it was my name; as it turns out, I’m just noisy. It’s a fitting name, actually. I am Gurultulu. My mother didn’t bother to name me so I took it upon myself to pick one. I’m actually thankful to that fat lady since she inspired me to pick that name,” chattered the crow.
“Oh my! You really are noisy,” chided Afet. “My name is Afet. You know, I’d like to talk to you now, but it seems that any moment now, my suitors will be here and I need to attend to them. My mother makes me receive them because they bring such precious gifts! If you’d like, I can give you a shiny trinket if you’d return to me and talk.”
“Alright Afet, my new found friend. I’ll come by tomorrow at an earlier time so we won’t be bothered by your pesky, gift-giving suitors,” said Gurultulu. With a knock on the door, Afet smiled at Gurultulu. He understood what she meant, and he flew away.
The days went on and off. Gurultulu and Afet became even better friends, so one day, Afet confided a secret to Gurultulu. “I’m actually tired of talking to my suitors about pointless things. I’d like to pick one – anyone – so that I can finally settle down and just be a wife. They’re all rich and handsome anyway. However, my mother told me that I can only marry a man that has an infinite amount of wealth. She says that if they take a few days before returning with new gifts, th ey’re not rich enough. The days they are not here means that they are working for the gifts that they’ll bring me. Since the city is round and there’s a big wall dividing the East Crescent and the West Crescent, my suitors can’t come by every day even though they do have the riches. It’s just that they really are that numerous, so everyday, I get visitors. If only one man can come by here everyday, my mother would let me marry him,” lamented Afet. Then, a knock interrupted her next word. “Oh dear, they are already here.” With a sigh, Gurultulu flew away again, thinking that he must have more time to talk to Afet.
With his tiny crow brain, Gurultulu tried to solve Afet’s problems. He flew up into the sky and looked at Yuvarlak. As previously mentioned, Yuvarlak is a round city. More than being round, it was divided into the West and East Crescent by a tall wall that made traveling from one side of the city to the other. Too bad for Afet; the men on her side of the city were poor or not rich enough to come by with gifts on a daily basis. Too bad for the rich men on the other side of town; they need to travel 3 days to reach her and 3 more days to go back home and fetch more gifts. If only one man can solve this problem, he’ll have a married friend with enough time in her hands to just sit and talk all day.
As Gurultulu was flying in a circle around Yuvarlak, he continue to fly higher and higher into the air. After his 9th upward spiral, he broke through the first layer of clouds and saw the Ivory Tower. Since the Ivory Tower and its master were always aware or made it a point to be aware of everything that happens in the World, it didn’t fail to notice Gurulturu, his flight, and the plight of Afet. The Little Boy called out to him, “Hey, crow! Come here! I have the solution to your problem.”
With the sound of the word “solution,” Gurulturu flew fast and landed on the Ivory Tower’s window sill. “Hello, Master,” greeted the crow. “Do you really have the answer to my problem?”
The Little Boy said, “Yes, my good crow. I do. I am the Little Boy, the Master of the Ivory Tower, and I have all the answers in the World!”
“Please, Master. Tell me how to solve my problem. Help me help Afet get a husband. If what you say is true, I’ll let it be known to the whole world that you are wise.”
With that, the Little Boy whispered the answer to Gurulturu’s problem.

to be continued... 

An Ivory Shard, Germaine, and a Tennis Racket

Up on the Ivory Tower that stood solidly on top of the tallest mountain on the top of the World, the Little Boy was still fuming against Heaven for that painful lesson about gravity in the Foreshadowing of the Ivory Shards when he heard a girl cry in anger. He was clutching the ivory shard that struck him in the head when suddenly, a tennis racket went into view and fell down again, which piqued the interest of the Little Boy. Curious to see who threw it high enough to come into his horizon, the Little Boy investigated and followed the racket’s descent. 
The racket fell back into Germaine’s skilled hands. She was the person who was able to throw a tennis racket so high in the air. She was a high school student of Tokyo Gakkan Urayasu High School. She was part of the school’s tennis varsity team. She was part of the Honors Class. Most of all, she was the almost most popular girl in school with her blonde hair, big, wide eyes, and high grades.
She threw the racket in the air out of frustration with Judy, the most popular girl in school. Judy was also part of the tennis varsity. In fact, she was the captain for the women’s team. She had short sassy hair, a smile that shimmered with stars, and even higher grades than Germaine. Everyone loved her, especially Tezuka, the team captain of the tennis team, the most popular boy in school, and the love of Germaine’s life.
It seemed to Germaine that no matter what she did, she always successfully stood second best. In home economics class, she baked a strawberry sponge cake for Tezuka, but he ate Judy’s plain chocolate cake instead. After the finals week of their second year in junior high, she saw her name labeled number 2 in small, black letters while Judy’s name was highlighted in big, red, bold letters. Most of all, she was the best friend of Tezuka; Tezuka’s girlfriend was Judy.
After about 30 minutes of waiting for the tennis racket to land back on her hands, Germaine thought that she should go home, but Judy went into the tennis court. As she was heading towards the court gates, she saw it swing open to reveal Judy, smiling and walking with that swaying, sassy hair of hers. “Yo! Germaine-chan! Would you like to play a game before you go home?” Judy asked. “Uh, but…” Germaine stuttered as Judy dragged her to one side of the court.
With the same tennis racket in her hands, Germaine was forced to play. As luck would have it, Tezuka wandered in the court and offered to referee the match. With the love of her life in sight, Germaine felt fired up. Yes! She would play. Yes! She would show Judy that she can win, even just one unofficial game. Most of all, yes, she will impress Tezuka with her awe-inspiring backhand and forehand smashes, which she thought would be enough for him to dump Judy and ask her to be his girlfriend.
As the whistle wailed across the court, Germaine motioned to serve. Spuck! Spuck! That was the only sound that Germaine could hear. She was so intent to beat Judy, smiling, giggling, and shimmering with stars as she returned each smash that Germaine sent to her. After 20 minutes, Germaine had a point-break opportunity. She only needed to score one more point, and she will beat Judy for the first time in Tokyo Gakkan Urayasu High School’s history.
As the Little Boy, looking down intently from the Ivory Tower, gazed at Germaine’s determination and desperation, he heard Germaine’s thoughts: “If I could just win this match, I’d be happier. God, please, anyone! If you can hear my me, I wish to win this match at any cost.” Because of the desperation, the intensity, and the sincerity of this one wish, the Little Boy felt some compassion for Germaine. He wanted to help the girl who had the ability to grab his interest. As he was still holding the ivory shard, he thought that maybe, he can sabotage Judy and cause her to lose the match. With this thought in mind, he went over to the edge of the balcony of the Ivory Tower. Using his knowledge of vertical motion, gravity, and trajectory, he threw the ivory shard down so that it would land on Judy’s side of the court. He was hoping that Judy would step on it, slip, and fail to return one of Germaine’s smashes.
Down the ivory shard flew. It fell fast and furiously towards the next spot where Judy was supposed to put her foot down. The Little Boy’s aim was true this time; unlike what happened with Amaris and the Paper Airplane Prophecy, his ivory shard struck where it was supposed to strike. However, he failed to figure in the bounce of the turf used in lawn tennis courts. The fake green grass had a bounce to it that made the ivory shard bounce towards Germaine’s next stepping ground. With an inaudible thud, it slipped under Germaine’s tennis shoes, rolled a few centimeters, and overturned her. What a sight it made! As Germaine was turning in midair, one of her shoes came off, flew up in the air, met with the eyes of the Little Boy, and fell back to earth. When the little shoe fell down, almost 30 minutes has already gone by. Germaine was already at the hospital with a broken neck, a fractured dream, and a smashed spirit. The doctors told her that she can never play tennis ever again.
With this new blunder, the Little Boy started to regret helping Germaine. Now, he can never see a tennis racket fly so high up in the air that it could reach the windows of his Ivory Tower. As he lost interest, he turned his gaze away and retired into his tower that was on top of the tallest mountain on the top of the World. 

This story is for Judy, my friend. This is my  birthday gift to her since I only have stories to tell and no money for buying gifts. Belated happy birthday!